Halloween Films For Wusses
I just can't do horror films. There was a time I watched all things creepy, but I decided I didn't want anymore sleepless nights because of a damn film, life is too short. Weirdly, I am very much into The Walking Dead at the moment, and I think in general zombie films are okay, ditto with vampires. It's insanely scary supernatural films I'm over, and overly gory torture-porn ones. Halloween is a time for watching the scariest movies possible, I always get invited to some fright-fest or other, and not even the lure of free creepy cocktails is enough to get me in a screening room to be terrified by something on the big screen. I do like to embrace the spooktacular season with Halloween parties, crafts, foods and films - I just make sure everything is a bit more PG and isn't going to give me nightmares. So, if you're similarly wussy, or are looking for a family-friendly Halloween movie, here's my faves that I watch each year.
The Ghost and Mrs. Muir
This old black and white movie is ghost story with a difference. Believe it or not, it's a love story between a hot young widow and the ghost of a sailor who haunts the house she moves into with her young daughter. It's played as a rom-com with some laughs, but is ultimately about a woman learning to stand on her own two feet and live life on her own terms - yay for old ghost tales with an underlying feminist message. I've watched this film so many times and never once not cried at the ending. But that may be because I'm an emotional wuss as well as someone sensitive to a few film scares.
An added bonus of the film are the gorgeous costumes and general beauty of leading lady Gene Tierney, she's stunning. A very young Natalie Wood plays her daughter (who sees dead people...), and the salty sea dog is Rex Harrison (top picture). You could watch Patrick Swayze's Ghost as a spooky sob fest instead, or Truly Madly Deeply, which is so good. But I like the gothic feel that The Ghost and Mrs Muir is serving with the black and white film and old creepy house by the sea.
Hocus Pocus
This Disney classic is 23 years old this year! My my, doesn't time fly by like a witch on a broom? The seventeenth century Sanderson sisters have been magically resurrected into the 1990's by some kids, cue lots of merry mayhem and very minor scares.
There's also Bette Midler singing "I Put a Spell on You" - which will stay in your head for ages after each viewing. I love this film, especially a pre-Sex and the City Sarah Jessica Parker looking like a bleached blonde olden-days Carrie Bradshaw, and the trick or treat scene in which the Sanderson sisters think they've found dozens of real, but very small, fellow witches and wizards. Legend has it that Leonardo di Caprio was originally first choice to play the role of Max, but he turned it down. I still love Omri Katz though, who was also in the awesome 90's show "Eerie Indiana".
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Wat! This is a Christmas film, surely? It says in the title and everything. But wait, this is also a Halloween film. Jack Skellington is the Pumpkin King of Halloween town, and this animated Tim Burton delight kicks off with the excellent "This is Halloween" song, detailing all types of scary things in a charming, cutesy way. Jack feels unfulfilled by life though, and after stumbling into Christmas Town he thinks he's found a way to spice things up. His fellow spooky residents are confused though, cue a new and terrifying type of Christmas you just wouldn't want.
With Halloween and Christmas so close together, this is a fun, cosy film that be enjoyed any time during the winter months, just note it's a PG and probably not okay for very young kids.
What We Do In the Shadows
This is a brand new pick for me, as it was only just released in 2014. If you like the slightly surreal comedy and deadpan delivery of TV show, Flight of the Conchords, you'll love this as it's co-written by and starring Conchords' Jermaine Clement. Told in mockumentary style, it's about a group of vampires sharing a flat together in modern day New Zealand. You probably need a knowledge of vampire films and shows to get the jokes, and this is a truly laugh out loud funny film. It's certainly gory, but never scary, and is the perfect comedy horror for wusses like me. It's fine for family viewing, as in - it's a movie you could easily watch with parents, but due to the blood and guts it's not for young kids.
Blithe Spirit
Here's another old-fashioned fave of mine. Noel Coward's amusing middle-class comedy about a happily married man being haunted by the ghost of his dead first wife. I remember watching this as a kid and being blown away by the ghost effects, but really she's just a bit greener than everyone else. If you've ever wanted to haunt an ex, or feel your partner's ex is around way too much, you'll be able to empathise with this spooky comedy about an unwelcome third wheel. I know they recently had a broadway and west-end hit with this (Angela Lansbury playing eccentric psychic, Madam Arcati, who comes to try and sort things out), but I think it would be a good option for a film re-make.
Beetlejuice
Another Tim Burton film, this retro 80's classic is definitely of it's time, and like other Burton movies, a little bit funny, a little bit gory, and definitely not scary. When a young couple accidentally die they go back to their house instead of passing though to the after-life (an actual place in this film). They're horrified when a new family move in and proceed to turn their beloved house into a 1980's modern eyesore. When their own haunting tactics don't work, they turn to the slapstick and slightly sinister Beetlejuice to help them.
I remember showing this to some sixth form media students I was teaching, and they thought this was absolutely awful. Maybe it is a bit dated, but I still think it has a lot going for it, and if you think of it as a comedy and not a horror you won't be disappointed.
Young Frankenstein
If you're missing recently departed comedy legend Gene Wilder, you can honour his memory by watching the hilariousness that is Young Frankenstein. It's a Mel Brooks film, and typical of him it's completely silly, with both wit and slapstick. Gene plays a modern-day doctor who also happens to be a descendent of the original Dr Frankenstein. He inherits the family estate and goes to visit it, one thing leads to another and the building of a monster happens all over again.
Other family-friendly movie choices could include Monster House, The Addams Family, Paranorman, The Corpse Bride, or Ghostbusters, and for older viewers: teen-horrors like The Craft, The Faculty and Scream make fun choices. Whatever you're curling up to watch in the dark this weekend, I hope you're safe and snuggly, and that you have an abundance of pumpkin-scented candles, Halloween-themed foods, and cosy blankets. If you do get too scared to sleep at least we have an extra hour when the clocks go back tonight, so you can make up for it maybe? Mwah ha ha... etc.